


Saving Myself

by Ellienerd14



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Ace girls talking about ace stuff, Canon Compliant, Cute Dogs, Maisie is sorta based off Ebb, Other, Very late request, theyre fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 10:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10358565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/pseuds/Ellienerd14
Summary: I didn't realise I could save myself. I've spent years being the damsel in distress, waiting for Simon to rescue me. Years being the prize after the boss battle.I'm no longer the Princess Peach of Simon's story.-California is Agatha's chapter one.





	

I didn't realise I could save myself. I've spent _years_ being the damsel in distress, waiting for Simon to rescue me. Years being the prize after the boss battle.

I'm no longer the Princess Peach of Simon's story.

Running away to California never felt like running away. It felt like _escaping_. I packed my credit card, sunglasses and my passport. I put on a summer dress and left my Ugg boots and thick winter jumper behind. And then I never looked back. Not for a single second.

The sun was shining down on me as I got off the plane that took me from Watford to California. I was finally free and alone and out of Simon's story into chapter one of my own.

Lucy likes it here too. She runs around on her little legs. I spend my days on the beach with a book. Sometimes I pick up my phone and hover over Penny's number. She still texts me, although it's been a whole month and I've never replied. I don't want to tell her I'm sorry. Not when I finally have what I've always wanted. I can make my own story. I can be the _protagonist_.

I love being the protagonist. 

"Agatha?" A girl waves at me from away. I wave back, smiling.

Maisie is another dog walker. Her puppy is twice Lucy's size and the most chilled dog I've ever met. Maisie reminds me of Penny in a way - she's stubborn and clever. But in other ways she reminds me of myself. We both have blond hair and fluffy dogs and want to live our own lives.

"Hey Ags." Maisie sits on the bench next to me and Sky rests her head on her lap. "You okay?"

"I'm in California," I reply. Maisie grins back at me. Every time she asks, I give the same answer.

"You really love Cali." Maisie ruffles her cropped hair. (It's the shade of blond that's almost white and always windswept. I don't think Maisie actually owns a hairbrush.) 

"It's a great place to run away to," I reply. "And I love the beach."

"You never told me why you ran away," Maisie says. "Terrible British weather?"

"Everything was more complicated when I was at Watford. There was so much pressure on me. To be this fair maiden that kisses the hero at the end." I sigh, looking away from Maisie and down at my sandals. (Pink. Flowery. Very impractical.) 

"The Princess Peach?"

I smile at Maisie. _She gets it_. "Exactly."

"And you didn't want that?" she asks, nodding. "I get it."

"I was happier before me and Simon started dating." It feels good to say it out loud. "I loved him - I still do - but not in the right way."

"Yeah, I get it." Maisie runs her hand through her cropped hair again. "I was sixteen when I first kissed a boy and it felt so wrong."

"Wrong how?"

"No chemistry," Maisie answers. "So I tried kissing other boys. And when that didn't make me feel anything either, I tried kissing girls. Nothing."

"Nothing," I echo. I touch my lips without thinking. I didn't think other people felt the same way I did. Maybe I'm not so defective. 

"I figured it out eventually." Maisie grins. "God I was so happy when I realised I wasn't the only ace person out there. And then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought 'I still don't want to live alone, I'm buying a puppy'." Sky licks her hand and barks.

"You just realised that..." I'm stumbling over my words. If Penny could see me now.

"I didn't want that kind of love?" Maisie finishes for me. "Yeah, I did. And I've never been happier."

Sky barks again, like she's agreeing. Maisie scratches her behind the ears. 

"Ace, like asexual?" I ask. I've heard the term before; one of Baz's friends had mentioned it. I hadn't thought twice about it till now. 

"Yep. And aromatic," Maisie answers, proudly pointing at a badge in those colours. "What about you?"

"I... I don't know," I tell her honestly. I didn't think it was an option. That someone like me - who had been admired and told I'll make someone happy one day in a future I've always dreaded - could not be with anyone. It sounds freeing. 

" _Oh_." Maisie pats my arm gently. "Still figuring things out, Ags?"

"I am." I scratch Sky too. She closes her eyes happily although it makes Lucy slightly jealous.

"I'm here for you," Maisie promises. I know she means it because her dark eyes are fixed on me and filled with something that lets me know she has my back. "Whether you're ace, aro or anything else. Best friends right?"

"Of course." I lean over Sky and hug Maisie. It's unexpected for both of us. Still she holds on. 

I sit in the warm sun. I've saved myself and that's just chapter one. Figuring out if I'm ace, aro or anything else is the rest of the story. And I know I have a friend who will support me. 

I open my messenger app and hover over Simon's name. Eventually I click on Penny's name. I sent her a photo of Lucy. It's a good starting point, I hope. 

**Author's Note:**

> I gave Agatha the same dog breed as me. I LOVE my dog. 
> 
> Let me know what you though of Maisie and of this. Thanks for reading!


End file.
